I'm Thinking--Artist!

My Auntie Ami is in town and decided to do a painting while she was visiting my mom bean.

 She’s a very good artists. I think I’d like to try that when I grow up.

Little Treasures Here and There

Besides the ordinary;
the drawers of socks,
the stash of belts and ties,

my beloved departed and
left me to sort through things

he’d left behind,

here and there,

in nooks and crannies,

tiny treasures can be found.

a pouch full of military medals

darkened with age;

envelopes filled with pictures

from days long gone to present;

a tattered little box

filled with very old pocket knives;

rings of keys

a number of wrist watches;

a handful of Canadian coins

perhaps enough to buy a sandwich in Alberta

a jar full of marbles,

not the ones he’d lost as a boy

but new to replace

the joy

there’s more treasures to be found

here and there

we just have to search

and we shall find.

The Ring Left Behind

The ring.
The one piece of his jewelry
I now wear around my neck
on a long gold chain.

If I were in my teens, still,
I’d proudly wear his massive, blue stoned ring,
on my left-hand ring finger
for all the world to see.

I’d have wrapped it multiple times over
with strands of white angora yarn
so it would not slip off,
be lost, and bring tears of a break-up.

Forty and four years, wiser,
still a wide-eyed teen at heart,
I wear it now around my neck,
close to my breast.

He is no longer here, you see,
to hold my hand,
to kiss my lips,
to say I love you ten times a day.

He left behind his favorite Navy ring
for me to find and remember
the touch of his hand,
the twinkle in his eyes
and to say, ten times a day,

I love you still.

Shoot the Tiger!

The year of the Tiger will soon be history. For a while at least. And a hellish Tiger year it has been, ending with the death of my husband on December 11, 2010. The year of the Rabbit promises to be tamer and calmer and more prosperous. Let's hope so.

Forever Fishing
and on Eternal Patrol

 (USS Cusk and (USS Wahoo)

I finished the draft of Jane at the end of November and was starting revisions in December but didn't get far. My beloved friend and spouse of 44 years died of an infection in his heart five days after entering the hospital with just a fever and a cough. He was End Stage Renal Failure to begin with, and for this past year he'd had more downs than ups. I knew the day was coming but I hadn't figured it to be so soon. It hadn't been quite two years after starting dialysis in March '09.

His funeral was held December 16, 2010, and he was buried with full military honors at the Willamette National Cemetery in Portland. I guess that means I will be buried there also--some day. Hopefully, a long someday away.

Two of my daughters were able to make it here, from the snowy Midwest, the night before he died and were able to spend some good quality time with him. Family and friends were there the next day when he was taken off the respirator for good. Within an hour and a half he had passed. Homeward bound, surrounded by kinfolk and friends of all ages.

My daughters are helping me sort and clean and even have a bit of Christmas. It was just yesterday that we decided the Christmas tree HAD to go up. And it did, and it's pretty, and I'm sure my dearest is happy that we did that, mostly for him. He loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. He made it through Thanksgiving but not Christmas. My girls will leave for their homes soon and I'll start my new life. Hopefully, the transition will be easy. Burst of sadness mixed with the joy of remembrance of the good times, often sneak up on me and I have to grab the tissue box. But overall, for now anyway, I am doing well enough. It will be another story, I'm sure, once I'm alone. No matter how I'll be affected by widowhood, I will be returning to writing with vigorous ambition.

But for now, this is Christmas Day. Spirit of dad, Christmas tree, turkey and dressing, and pumpkin pie. Later, perhaps we'll go to the park to feed the birds.


Merry Christmas.