Mike's Adventure to Waldorf, Maryland and his Visit with Skeeter, LC, Ayla, and TBT.

Mike here: (don't forget the slideshow at the end)

Well, I no sooner got home from the desert, took a nine hour nap, then I repacked my bag and it was off to Maryland. Waldorf, to be exact…the home of Skeeter, LC, Ayla and their bean…TBT (The Big Thing). It was Saturday, March 1st.

I used my new transporter room that The Cat Realm had set up for me. The first time was a blast, but this tune I was getting a bit of a queasy stomach—nervous you might say, because Gretchen was a bit groggy from her nap, and that made me a little more than worried about what settings she was lining up on the control panel. We don't have this down to a science yet, especially when the places we go don't have a transporter room, too. I never really know just where I'm going to apparate until I get to the end of the wormhole.

Queasy stomach and all, I stood on the middle circle, gripped my luggage, closed my eyes and crossed all my claws…huh…your right, I don't have claws, but if I did, I'd certainly have crossed them all. We told Skeeter to watch for me around 3:45 PM.

Finally, Gretchen gave me the paws up sign and said I was good to go. It was when she gave me this funny grin that made me even more nervous. She started her backwards countdown…tree…two…one…zero…

Poof! I felt my wiry fur sizzle a bit more as my molecular structure disintegrated into a gazillion little pieces, then before I could say "See ya," to Gretchen, I was flying at light speed through the wormhole of the cyberspace highway.

It wasn't apparent to me that Gretchen didn't have the coordinates finely tuned until I found myself squeezed into a thread and traveling through the coax cable to the TV set in Skeeter's living room. Suddenly everything around me started to sizzle as I began to take on my normal shape and appearance again. But you'll never guess where I materialized. Their TV was on and it must have interfered with my transporter signal because suddenly I was being sucked through the TV screen. Skeeter yelled—he’s here! His bean, The Big Thing, saw me coming through the screen and quickly pulled a little TV table with a pillow on it for me to land on, right under the TV. Otherwise, I think I would have crashed on the floor…and how embarrassing an arrival that would have been.

"We'll, I made it!" I said, smiling kind of queerly up at them. I told them I didn't quite know how that happened and I hoped I didn't ruin their TV set. It looked like a nice one. My fur still felt hot and I could still hear the wiry parts crackling a bit as they cooled off.

The Big Thing started spouting out words that I didn't quite understand. It sounded like he said, “the Heisenberg compensators interactivated negatively with the TV static field resulting in a quantum time dimension anti-war reduction.” All of us cats just looked at him with our eyes bulging and mouths gaping. Then he translated what he said into something we could understand…"Something went flooey!" We’ll now, we’d already guessed that. I made a quick mental note to tell Gretchen when I get home to study her manual more, instead of napping so much. The Cat Realm wrote Skeeter and told him to have Gretchen check the compensators…I doubt she’ll understand that. She’d rather look at the pictures in the manual and try and figure things out from there. I think she’s going to have to take some lessons from Karl, before she sends me out again.

Anyway, I got there safely and the first thing they insisted upon was that I take a nap. I took them up on the offer; it had been a rather hair-frying trip—and I’ll admit I needed some time for the butterflies in my stomach to calm down anyway. When I woke up from my nap we had dinner. Seafood stuff…real seafood, like from the ocean and not from a can. Can’t get any better than that!

In between trips, Gretchen’s Mom bean—actually, my mom bean, too, had repacked my stuff. She had put some things that were green in my case. Even though I’d be long gone from Skeeter’s house before the official Wear ‘n’ of the Green Day, but to mom bean, March was still a green outfit month to her. I leave all my packing up to her anyway because she always makes sure I take along my blue blanket.

TBT gave me a little wooden TV table, just like the ones we have at home, to put my luggage on. Gretchen’s going to very jealous of me for sleeping on Skeeter, LC and Ayla’s kitty condo. She wants one so bad. But it’s so cool—and comfy—all carpeted and right between two heater vents, so we all stayed nice and toasty.

How cleaver, they gave me my very own littler box in the guest room. Hey, I know I’m a fluffhead, but I’m magical, remember? If I can walk and talk and eat, I can certainly poop fluff balls! They said I didn’t have to sleep in there by myself. I could crowd in on TBT’s bed with the rest of them if I wanted. And I did. But it was really sweet to know that I had a room of my very own if I needed a place to retreat to. Skeeter said Ayla is a young Siamese and can get pretty spazzed out once in a while. I did use the guest room to write down my notes. It helps to have a quiet place to write.

On Sunday we had a great dinner. Something called a New England Boil. It had fish, lobster and shrimp in it. Did I mention that Marylnad is a New England state and it’s practically surrounded by water from the Atlantic Ocean? So I’m not surprised that we had more fishy stuff to eat. But Skeeter and LC did tell me that we would have chicken, too. He whispered that there was also a container of bacon bits in the fridge. Good piece of information to know…I’ll say now more.

Poor little Ayla, she was a bit scared of me, I think. They said she was kind of shy. At first she just kind of kept an eye on me; I wasn’t fooling her one bit…a talking fluffhead…no such thing in her book. She did warm up to me later and we became buds.

Monday morning we pretty much all ate breakfast together, except LC sleeps late. Skeeter said she usually comes in to clean up the leftovers later, which she did. We had Savory Salmon Feast. You should hear how Skeeter eats…nom…nom…nom…

After breakfast I got to lie in LC’s favorite morning spot. It’s the rug in front of the sliding glass door. It’s flooded with the morning sun. I can see why she likes that spot so much, and she was such a courteous host to let me lie on her warm mat for a while.

Later in the afternoon we all got to go outside in the backyard. It was so bright that I had to put on my sunglasses. Skeeter, LC and Ayla don’t wear sunglasses like they do at the Cat Realm. So I imagine I kind of shocked them all…especially, Ayla, who still wasn’t sure about me being there, yet. Ayla was very excited to get to go outside with the rest of us. She hadn’t been allowed outside in a month. We spent some time looking at the fishes in the fishpond. I was curious to see how cold that water was, so I bravely stuck my paw in the water. Cold, like I expected. How do fishes survive outside like that? The fishes inside the house have to have a heater contraption to keep them warm. These outside fish are very curious.

LC had to show me her favorite place to sit in the woods where she keeps the mouse population under control. Huh, sorry, I think I was supposed to say that we waited for the mousies to come out and play with us, but they never did. Just forget I said that first part.

When we got back inside it was time to take another catnap. Skeeter showed me the cat bed under the condo. I kind of took it over. Wrapped up in my blankie, I was very comfortable. It’s a pretty active household. Skeeter and LC do a lot of running around outside and Ayla, who’s not always allowed outside without supervision, runs around in the house. They sure wore me out. After LC came inside to take a nap, she invited me to curl up next to her in her favorite chair. I shared the end of my blanket with her.

I won’t confess to the crime. Honest. I wasn’t me. Sometime before dawn the container full of bacon pits fell out of the fridge and spilled out on to the floor. Well, I kind of ate a piece, since it was on the floor and all. I can’t snitch on Skeeter or LC, either. And Ayla, wasn’t anywhere near the fridge. So I guess, the leprechauns found out about the bacon bits and played a little mischief on us all. And that’s all I’m saying on that subject. Well, yeah, I’ll admit I was tempted, but it wasn’t me who got them out, honest! And I truly don’t know how those bacon crumbs got in the guest room like Skeeter said he found. I bet it was those rascally leprechauns again. It’s that time of year, you know.

We’ll I will admit to playing my own leprechaun prank on TBT later that morning. I had noticed that the dryer door had been left open so I slipped out the vent and ran around to the front door and rang the doorbell. I don’t think the TBT was too amused, however, when he saw it was only me standing there. I offered him my orange mouse toy that I always carry with me in my luggage. But he got me back. The next night we played a card game, Three Card Monty, ever hear of it? Well, it’s a trick. He promised me Temptations if I guessed right. He’s a card shark. He knew all along I couldn’t win that trick. Even with all my magic powers. He finally did feel sorry for me later, however, and gave me a Temptation anyway. He really is such a nice man.

Wednesday, and the day of pranks behind us, Ayla showed me all about the indoor fish pond—uh, right—it’s called a fish tank when it’s in the house. She showed me all the tricks she can do with the fish tank. She gets up on top of the lid. The light is up there too, and it’s gets kind of warm if you lay on it too long. There’s this narrow opening in the back of the lid apparatus. But I’m not telling anyone that Ayla tries to put her paws through that crack and touch the fish. While she was doing that I was having fun whapping the spidery, hanging plant at the edge of it. I didn’t hurt it, honest. I just tested it a bit, watching how the long, leafy tendrils swayed with every touch.

TBT has a water bed and that in itself is fun to sleep on, but when he piled up a load of warm clothes right out of the dryer, it was just too much for Ayla and me to resist. We took a good long nap on that warm pile of clothes right from the dryer. mmmm

TBT told me that on Thursday, he was going to take me to PetsMart. The only reason Skeeter, LC, and Ayla didn’t want to go was because sometimes there are woofies there. They don’t like woofies, but they don’t bother me. He told me I could ride up and down the aisles in the shopping cart. He said I could pick out any toy I wanted as a gift and I could also pick out some cans of my favorite food, but I could tell he was more excited about getting to see all the fishy tanks with all the new fishes than anything else. I think he’s crazy about fishy stuff. He eats them, he keeps them in his backyard in a pond, and he has them in a big tank in the house. Wouldn’t you come to that same conclusion? Well, I slept pretty good that night, just dreaming about going to that famous big store where pets were allowed to go shopping with their humans, and seeing all those other creatures….birds, mice, snakes…yikes…I could do without seeing the snakes, but I would like to see the lizards.

Okay, now the TBT is mad. Come Thursday morning, and it isn’t even raining, we get all excited about going shopping, but when we get there, guess what? Everybody knows that when I visit places, my hosts usually takes lots of picture of me and the places we go to. But when the manager told the TBT he couldn’t use his camera in the store, it took all the pleasure out of the trip and we left. I have pictures of me in front of the store--going in and coming out of the doors. I really gave those automatic doors a good workout as I danced back and forth in front of that tiny electric eye. Can you imagine a famous place like that refusing to let my host take pictures for me inside the store? Think of how much publicity they lost. The manager wasn’t even impressed in the slightest that I’m famous...plus magical. The answer was still a big, NO!

Okay with plan A out the window, plan B was to go to Walmart. Wow, I was excited about that! Walmart is another famous store that is supposed to be friendly to everybody. Well when I got there they wouldn’t even let me go through the doors. Couldn’t they see that I wasn’t a real cat? No pets, was there policy. “Huh!” TBT said under his breath. He also said that I was probably cleaner than most of their human customers. But we won’t say that out loud because we could get them mad us for some reason, like slander or something. They just kept saying No, No, No…so we left. Phooey on Walmart and PetSmart. It was an experience TBT wanted me to have, so we were both bitterly disappointed at the store policies. But on our drive home, TBT told me he had a better plan for tomorrow. We were going to take a road trip and he’d bring along my litter box, some water and dry treats and even a picture book of cat jokes for me to look at during the drive. But riding in a car makes me sleepy, so I figured I’d probably just nap.

TBT patted me on the head and said, “Well, nothing gets you over a bad, no-picture shopping day like shrimps.” When we got home it was Shrimp Night for everybody. Skeeter was dancing around in circles hollering, “SHRIMP NIGHT! SHRIMP NIGHT! REAL LIVE DEAD SHRIMPS!” I’d have to say that he was certainly excited about Shrimp Night. I almost fainted at the sight of those yummy pink things. TBT even warmed them up for us. Oh, yum! I was singing about Shrimp Night. too, when I got done eating them. Wow! Were they good.

You should have seen how we played musical dishes, too. We kept taking turns eating out of each other’s shrimp bowls. Hard as I tried I couldn’t hang on to my own bowl. But that’s all right we had a lot of fun, and the bad shopping day was soon history.

After dinner and a bit of a community washing-up session, Ayla challenged me to a climbing contest. I knew I’d win because I’m magical, but, on the other hand, Ayla is a Meezer (translated—Siamese) and they are famous for their high climbing skills. So we padded a high five and off we went into the living room and the bookcase. Hee, hee, Ayla didn’t even have a chance. I ripped right up those shelves to the highest point and waved at her while she was still sitting on the floor contemplating her strategy. Skeeter and LC broke out in raucous laughter and hurt poor Ayla’s Meezer feelings. But I can’t help myself—I’m very competitive. I felt bad for poor Ayla after she had gone off to pout, so I jumped down in a flash and found her some treats. That cheered her up and soon she’d forgotten all about losing the contest to a mysterious fluffhead. I apologized and she forgave me for being such a rude guest and beating her at her own game.

Okay, now we’re on to Friday! TBT and my road trip. Because Skeeter, LC, and Ayla don’t like traveling it was okay with them that they stayed home, again. We got up at eight in the morning, ate a quick breakfast and after TBT had packed the SUV with all the niceties of home, we were off on our Mystery Trip. TBT thought of everything. Even a knapsack for me to be carried in, so I wouldn’t get tired walking. He said that where we were going there’d be a lot of walking. He also told me to bring along my blue cowboy hat that Karl, at the Cat Realm, had given me.

After driving for a little more than an hour, of which I napped most of the way, we arrived at the Capitol of the entire country. Washington DC. Wow, I couldn't have been more honored to be taken to visit our nation’s capitol. The place where our presidents lived. The place of monuments and all kinds of stuff about our country’s history.

First stop on our tour was the Washington Monument. It’s really gigantic. A tall monolith that looks like a pointed stick. I know, the picture TBT took makes me look like Godzilla taking over Washington, but it’s and optical illusion. I just happened to jump up at the time he took the shot. I think it turned out pretty cool, myself.

We visited the monument of FDR: Franklyn Delano Roosevelt—another great leader of this nation. Oh, yeah, and they even had a statue of his famous little dog, Fala. He was smaller than me. I patted him on the head and told him he was good woofie for standing by his master all these long years.

Next TBT and I went to a huge building where all kinds of dead animals and their dusty old bones were kept. It’s called a Museum—for animals. Right inside the door we were greeted by a giant Heffalump. They could crush a human with just one of their toes. Honest! They were quite dangerous to be around when they were alive. Psst…I know, and you know, that a Heffalump is really a stuffed elephant in Winnie the Pooh’s stories. But this wasn’t a stuffed toy…no way. This was a giant stuffed elephant with huge tusk.

They had a whole display of huge, angry, mean looking stuffed cats. They were attacking a stuffed water buffalo. For their dinner, I suppose, once upon a time. Let me tell you these cats are ferociously huge. It’s hard to believe we kitties are the same species.

Bones and bones and more bones. I guess that’s why they call it a museum. The bones we saw next were of the extinct dinosaur variety. Monster creatures that were presumed to roam the earth more years ago than I can count. When no one was looking I climbed upon TBT’s shoulders and jumped right up into the gaping mouth of a T-Rex! The infamous bad guy of all the dinosaur movies. Let me tell you, with teeth like this guys, he wasn’t no flower eater that’s for sure. He was like a walking, stalking, land-shark.

Oh, the fresh air. I enjoyed the museum very much. It was more than we could see all at once, but let me tell you, I was so glad to see the sunshine and breath real air again. We went right from the museum to probably the most revered American leader this country ever had. I put my blue cowboy hat back on and jumped up in old Abe’s lap. He’s been sitting there for so long that he’s turned to stone…hee, hee, just a little humor. Abraham Lincoln’s monument is huge. Makes me wonder how big this guy really was in life. I certainly hope he wasn’t as big as his statue.

We spent five hours looking at all there was to see and we were getting pretty tired. We passed on the Air and Space Museum. It was beginning to rain, anyway. So I napped in TBT’s knapsack on the way back to the car. It was a long walk back to the car. Long, long, long. I was pretty well rested by the time we got back to the car. Hey, and you know what? A cat really can use the litter box in a moving car…if you gotta go bad enough.

I had a very exciting day. It was fun to see all that stuff at the Nation’s Capitol. When I got back to Skeeter’s house, I had to gather my stuff together and collect my interview sheets. The week was up and in a few hours I’d be back home. I began to worry again about if Gretchen knew what she was doing at the controls. We had sent an email to tell what time I was teleporting out of Maryland, at one a.m. Saturday morning on the east coast, so it was about ten p.m. on Friday night on the Pacific coast. I just hope she doesn’t leave me in the teleport chamber too long.

Well, as the hour of departure approached I thanked my hosts, each and everyone, for all the wonderful things we did together, the trip to DC, and all the trouble that TBT went to for me. It was heartwarming. He treated me like one of his own. I’m going to miss him…and Skeeter and LC, and Ayla, who is now my Meezer bud.

Gretchen must have preset the controls because as I was saying goodbye and giving everyone hugs, I felt the tugging on my wiry fur, heard the sizzle sound as I disapparated from the living room, whizzed through cyberspace once again, and materialized on the launch pad of my own teleportation room.

The room was empty again and I was worried as to where Gretchen had gone off to this time. As it turned out, Gretchen had taken a potty break. She’d been waiting for me for ten minutes. We’ll we all know how that is. When ya gotta go—ya gotta go.


Now it’s Interview Time with Skeeter, LC, and Ayla:

Mike: How long have you lived with your bean(s)?
Skeeter: 15 years
LC: 14 years
Ayla: 1.5 months.

Mike: Do you have a favorite bean?
Skeeter and LC: The Big Thing.
Ayla: Well, I really liked the Mom and Dad at my born-home, but I’m getting used ta The Big Thing. He is scritchy and warm.

Mike: What's your favorite food?
Skeeter and LC: 9 lives Tuna.
Ayla: Any Fancy Feast Medley.

Mike: What's your favorite treat?
Skeeter: HAM.
LC: Live little fishies.
Ayla: Innova Evo crunchies

Mike: Where do you like to sleep?
All: We all like to sleep on an around The Big Thing on the warm waterbed at night. In the mornings, there is an inside doormat where the sun shines…

Mike: Do you dream? What are your dreams about?
All: Treats!
LC: And bein outside!

Mike: Do you like fluffheads, you know, those crafty little creatures with fiberfill for brains?
All: Mike is the first intelligent one we met. The dumb big ones around we jus ignore, the little dumb ones are jus toys. But cause a Mike, we are gonna see if we can “wake up” some of the big ones.

Mike: How many fluffheads live with you and your bean?
All: Two paws worth of toesies?

Mike: Do you get along with your fluffheads?
All: Except fer Mike, not really. They nefer talk to us.

Mike: Do have a special fluffhead friend?
All: MIKE!

Mike: Do your fluffheads ever talk to you?
All: No.

Mike: You have a very nice place here; tell me about your weather and your surroundings, what is it like outside your house?
Skeeter: The weather gets hot then cold then hot again. Useta be snow in cold, but not fer a few years. It sometimes gets so hot we pant outside an drink LOTSA water. Our Big Enclosed Back Yard has cool places. Big trees, shrubby places to shade under, thick flowery plants to sneak around in, 2 ponds to look at fishies in and hunt froggies around. Some birdfeeders that are excitin to watch. Squirrels, moles, and mousies.

Mike: Are you an inside only cat or do you get to go outside?
All: We all get to go outside “sometimes” (Ayla not much yet).
Skeeter and LC: We get to go out in daytime when we want (only an hour or less at a time).
Skeeter: I get to go out in the dark, but only cause I jus wanna sit on the deck fer a while).

Mike: Do you keep secrets from your beans?
Skeeter: Sorry, we can’t mention that here where The Big Thing might read. ;) But, of course, we’re cats, so draw yer own conclusions…

Mike: Have you been gifted with any hidden talents?
Skeeter: I know when The Big Thing is asleep an I can really surprise him by sneezin in his face.
LC: I catch frogs with ease. When they are getting a bit fewer, I toss em back inna pond to make more froggies.
Ayla: When The Big Thing tosses a toy up on somethin I can’t see the toy? I know perzactically where it is an can jump right up on it!

Mike: Is there anything in your house that bothers you? That you're afraid of?
All: THE SUCKY MACHINE!
Skeeter and LC: The PTU that brings us into the noisey turny car thingie that brings us to the V-E-T!
Ayla: Nothin so far…

Mike: Do you stalk and capture real live critters like mice, spiders and stuff? What kinds of critters do you stalk? Do you eat what you catch?
Skeeter: Mousies and birdies and bunnies (and well, moths). I eat any I can get. I get mostly mousies.
LC: Frogs mostly, but I find the odd mousie sometimes. I’ll take a birdie, but I only get those if they fly into a window. I don’t like moths (fuzzymouth, yuck).
Ayla: I almos got a window-birdie. I’d like to aktally taste one!

Mike: Do you have siblings or housemates? Do you get along with them?
Skeeter and LC: Well, we get along wif each other great. We wrassle sometimes, but groom and sleep together right after. We’re not sure bout Ayla yet.
Ayla: I hafnt got to sleep wif Skeeter or LC directly yet (We are sometimes all aroun The Big Thing at night but I havent been allowed to sleep cuddled wif THEM yet). The Big Thing says I hafta be “patient. I hafnt figured out the “groomin” thing yet.

Mike: Do you have a sweetheart?
All: No.
Skeeter and LC: We both have a favorite kittie or two that we like ta visit specially, but not “that way”.
Ayla: The Big Thing says I’m too young fer that mushy stuff.

Mike: What is your most fun activity?
Skeeter: Chasin squirrels. I nefer catch em, but they are great to chase. And sleepin on The Big Things lap. Catchin those unnerground mousies.
LC: Stalkin froggies; nefer gets old! Runnin the whole length of the yard…
Ayla: TOYS TOYS TOYS!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!